- It's for me. - It's always for you.
- I'm expecting a call. - You're not alone here.
You know I forbid you to answer when it's for me.
It's a catastrophe every time with you.
You should give an example of when it's catastrophic, you lie all the time.
Come on, help me out. Answer, he's going to hang up.
Hello? It's for you. It's Henri.
- Oh, I'm not there! - She's not there.
Can I take a message?
Yes.
You know, I got another letter from this poor guy: a torrent of tears.
- You remember that he was arranged to be married. - Yes.
- And that he abandoned it again. - No.
- Yes. I'll read it to you. Tell him I'm busy. - Excuse me, she's busy.
"With an Englishwoman. But no doubt, she doesn't speak English.
- "What should I do?" - Oh, men...
And by the way, there's another from that one. Why is it not there?
Tell me. For the record, I've always found him horrible.
A real toad. I can easily picture him sitting four-legged on a waterlily.
Croak, croak.
I'm reminded more of grandma's Pekinese.
- Tell him to be patient. - Just a sec, just a sec.
Poor grandma, it's screwed up that she loved him.
One gets attached, one gets attached...
Do you remember how he died?
The neighbors couldn't care because he always peed on our doormat.
Then they kidnapped him, grandma didn't pay the ransom, and they killed him.
They gave him to a butcher and delivered him back to grandma as minced meat.
Poor grandma, if she hadn't broken her two teeth...
on the tooth she gave Jimmy, she never would have recognized him.
Listen, you're forgetting that it's me who put him down when he grew too old.
Hello, I'm here, I'm listening. When will she be back?
Wait, I'll ask her. When will you be back?
- I don't understand. - "Hold on, here she is."
Who?
Excuse me, Juliette's here, who...
who took her bath, who yelled for an hour, "Who is it?",
and who heard her sister, her poor idiot of a sister say "Juliette isn't here."
Why did she say that?
Well, open your eyes: she's in love with you, my little Henri.
But of course, she's a proud soul. She always hid it from you.
Oh! I can't find the words, there are no words! It's false!
It's Juliette who loved you. She adores you, she dreams of you at night.
She screams: "Ah, my Henri! My Riquet, my Riri."
She loves you, she adores you.
She squirms in bed for the night you'll come back to her, then yells,
"My Henri, my Riquet, my Riri."
No, last night that wasn't it, it was: "Henri's eyes, Henri's eyes!"
I hate you! This is horrible.
You and your dirty skin!
I know at least four girls who've spent years trying to fix things. Years!
Don't be harsh, make a little effort and I'm sure you'll love her too.
Oh thank you, thank you.
Oh, you're good.
Then tonight at 9:00? Oh, she'll be happy.
Good, it's should suffice that I pity you. My poor girl.
I hung up a long while ago.
Really, you grieve me. You understand, it's as much as possible.
You hung up? Say, did you when you spoke... or before?
Before, but I'm too good.
But I think before I speak.
"Hello, she's not there. When do you get back?"
How numb. I'm exasperated, exasperated.
I spend my time fixing your mistakes.
Oh and you're always barefoot. You'll catch cold.
Good, now I'll call Henri to apologize.
But Henri doesn't matter.
But he does, my little one, he does.
One must never cause hurt. And one must never annoy anyone, even Henri.
You never know, he may be of use.
Oh what do I say to him? After he hung up in my face...
Hello, Henri? Juliette.
It wasn't very nice of you to do that.
I'm not usually hung up on like that.
Who took you?
I'm not convinced but I want to believe you.
Sure, someone cut us off.
Alright, alright, goodbye Henri.
Yes, until soon, goodbye.
Even you understand that he can't put up with your constant mistakes much longer.
A tongue that checks itself, masters itself.
If you want to consider yourself an evolved person.
Evidently you don't get headaches often.
What comes in, goes out... the toilet.
But are you seriously not humiliated to screw up all the time like that?
To have as little control as you do?
Not at all, it's the type of woman I am.
Martin melts every time I screw up, it's that simple.
Yes but Martin is something else: he loves you.
Listen, sometimes it costs me to lie.
But at least when I speak, I say exactly what I choose to say.
And not something that went through my head like that, by chance.
No, I said the whole time, "I must find something," something for me.
Because you understand, a lie is really told to oneself.
And what merit is there in telling the truth? That's laziness.
That all comes alone evidently.
Then it's not funny, it's insipid.
No, it gives me pleasure, try doing the exercises sometime.
I know: turn my tongue seven times in my mouth before speaking.
But no, with that system you have an idea, you examine it...
you develop it, but it comes out nonetheless...
What's necessary something else left out, which you don't have yet.
Lying. That's a strong asset, you need it.
And then you'll see, it's amusing.
It's like a novel. Only...
instead of writing a novel, you live it.
9:00 already! My God! Damn it! Fucking shit! Val sans bleu.
God-damn-fuck. Bourgeois...
You're a whore and... ah no, that's not a curse word.
Dead toad of love.
Talk about a dead toad of love, then, when you have Henri on the phone.
Juliette, can you make me some coffee?
With a lot of milk.
Is it nice outside?
Oh, it's nice outside!
I'm hungry!
And the other?
Juliette, is the coffee ready?
My water! And my coffee!
74. Yesterday I was stuck at 43.
But I'd had a little breakfast. You didn't leave again, did you?
It's you who's leaving. You're an egotistical monster, I'm in a hurry.
- Oh look, you've dropped Donald. - This isn't Donald.
This isn't Donald? Ah, no, it's not Donald. This is Oscar.
- No, poor Juliette. - Come, my little one.
- I'm taking a bath, get out of here. - You're already late, take it tonight.
Good, count to 300 and we'll talk about it some more.
Working with this sun...
Oh and not a single pair of stockings is left for me, I've had enough of this.
I had to put back yesterday's. They were full of mud from a puddle.
You take everything from me, always. You take my stockings, my bath.
Yesterday you took my anti-wrinkle cream, it takes an hour to prepare!
You didn't leave me a bit.
- Are you fasting with the paper or are you coming back here? - 77.
All that for three stupid sardines this summer.
Ah, you and your submarine fishing.
What is this blouse, another new one?
You refuse yourself nothing.
How much did you pay for it? It's not bad, actually, this blouse.
Is your wig ready?
I'm late.
I'll put makeup on later, when I go to Jojo's.
Good, sunglasses.
My coffee... it feels all empty.
I'm going!
- You're there again? - Hardly at all. I'm going. Until tonight.
Until tonight. Until tonight!
My blouse!
Ah no!
Mademoiselle.
Leave me alone, won't you look at yourself?
I'm not as bad as that, look at me.
It's you! I was afraid you'd be one of those types like the cars on the side.
- They look at me the whole time! - I'm sorry to interrupt you.
But you're welcome!
Here, I'm with you.
Not too long, eh, I'm already late.
Your papers please.
It's always the same story. Going through this again will take hours.
All that for a little Rimmel.
Frankly, I'm better like that, no?
Ah, it's true that you didn't see me last time.
I'm ugly after waking up.
I have eyes it's best that no one sees. Like that.
- You can arrange yourself over there. - I know, I know, all the same...
Hello.
Is Sophie there?
- Sophie isn't here. - Ah really? Not because I came by.
I delivered a car to the side.
Fine, I'll iron tonight.
Ah, but tonight I don't think that Sophie will be here.
- Is she going out? - Well, she'll want to.
Martin, have a cup of tea.
I got it from China. You see, this is the day and the night.
Did she have an accident?
You could call it that.
Has she done some foolishness?
Oh that, yes.
Is she expecting a baby?
All the same... but that doesn't tire you,
you men, always thinking about the same thing?
Ah no. That doesn't happen, thank you.
Have a seat.
Sophie had some trouble with the police.
- A sugarcube? Two? - The police?
No, no sugar, thank you.
Ah, but I see that I have to become a connoisseur.
Feel this: a marvel.
Notice they were nice: they warned me.
- Who? - The job.
She's there this moment.
- Sophie? - Yes, curled.
What did she do this time? Ah, what a number.
She's cute.
Juliette, you're the one who has an influence on her,
do something. She needs to get married.
I can't do any more.
There, it starts again: the obsession.
You can be distracted for two minutes but no more.
Why did you send for your Chinese tea?
- There's some Chinese tea in Paris. - Oh no, Martin, no.
You're not a poet. This one comes from China.
The other too.
Ah, yes, you're charming.
Martin, what were we talking about?
China, tea and Sophie.
Ah, Sophie. Sophie...
But between us, think before slapping an agent.
- What love. - Again, this morning I told her to cut her nails.
They're as long as that. Dining on milk like her isn't prudent.
Notice that she's not mean and once calm, she regrets.
In the ambulance, she demanded an apology for him from the agent.
She held his head herself while he was bandaged.
What did he do for her? Advances?
He is obsessed!
Martin...
do they often do this to you in front of agents?
Good, I'll tell you.
I stand aside on the sidewalk,
he reestablishes his circulation in two hits of a spoon to a jar.
Quickly, to the pin.
He comes along, I get really scared...
I'm so ugly on my permit photo that it's unbelievable.
I don't like to show it, it's human.
- He stops in front of the car. - Sophie, telephone.
Oh, I'm coming.
She's coming.
The display will never be finished, that makes 3 disruptions for the artist.
Briefly, he seemed terrifying. I trembled.
And you know what he says to me? The best:
he asks me for a date.
What a lightning bolt. The poor girl.
- She's good, no? - Did you accept?
I'm seeing him tonight. An agent, you'd think. I can't refuse.
And he's cute, too.
You again! Aren't you working?
No, I'm at the house. Martin is there.
He's very charming. Say thank you, Martin.
I told him everything, is that what you want?
On the contrary. What did you say?
- About the agent. - That he liked me?
- Not at all. - What then?
- Everything. - Everything? - Everything.
That you slapped him, scratched him, the ambulance,
provisional liberty, everything!
I knew you'd want something from me.
Martin, leave me alone.
Is he leaving you alone? What is he doing?
Well, nothing.
- Martin... - She'll pay me back for this.
- I had some doubts. - About what?
- You love him. - Who? Me?
- Yes yes. - But no.
- But yes. - It's false.
- But no. - Good, that's enough.
I have to work, what do you want?
To say that Martin should come and see you so you can tell him everything.
He's worried, the poor dear. Isn't that right, Martin.
Oh, life is complicated.
- Why did you tell him all that? - Only for your own good.
Do you remember what I told you after the call with Henri?
And well, here, I've prepared everything.
This is your first lesson, well, do you want it?
To become like you?
No, I don't want to lie to Martin.
Well, I guess, yeah, sure. Casanova!
Perfect, I'll kiss you.
Martin, a little restraint.
She'll pay for this.
She'll always have me...
What are you doing here? Where'd you come from?
Come inside.
No, I have work, I can't.
- Where'd you come from? - The garage.
- Have you seen Juliette? - Yeah.
- Where? - Your place.
- When? - This morning.
I told Juliette I'd see you at noon but I could come earlier.
Ah, she had not foreseen it. Ah, family...
And men, and I fall for it. Good, what do you want?
Listen, this isn't the time or the place. I have my display to do.
- Then? - Tell me what happened this morning with the agent.
Juliette made my mouth water.
- What did she tell you? - Guess.
That I hurt him or I'm going out with him tonight?
- Are you going out with him tonight? - Answer first.
That you hurt him.
Oh wow, it's true, your nails are long.
It's pretty.
But I didn't believe it, Juliette.
And well, exactly, you were hurt. Because it's true.
- You're going out with him tonight? - I'm going out with him tonight.
Then you're going out with me tonight.
- I can't go out with you tonight. - Why can't you go out with me?
- Because I'm going out with him tonight. - With his bandages?
But no. I told Juliette that I seduced an agent.
It was moral. She embroidered it.
Then why did you tell me it was true?
To lie.
An idea of Juliette's. One more.
I'm in training.
She's not very talented with the apprentice liar.
But she's persistent. She's strange right now.
Then, are you going out with him tonight?
Martin! Someone talked about Juliette.
I'm telling you that I'm worried.
"I'M ANNOYED."
- Betty! - I'm on the phone.
- Is he still there? - Yes yes.
- What does he seem like? - Boa...
But what does he want?
He asks Juliette for love letters.
You scared me.
And he insists. He won't be discouraged.
A man who sends love letters must be dumb.
He's dumb?
Shall I send him in?
- Send him in... - You can come in.
I, I can?
- Come in, come in. - Oh, you're very pretty.
I, I'll sit.
- Then what's going on? - Oh, but Zuliette.
You're too young, and too pretty, oh I don't dare more.
Well then, don't look at me anymore.
Oh, oh but I want to look at you.
- You're so pretty. - Alright...
First, what name do you go by?
Ah, but you know me.
I've often written you love letters.
Sébastien, you know me well.
- Sébastien? - Sébastien.
- The seducer? - Yes.
Ah, it's you.
The man who can't meet a woman without falling in love with her.
That's me.
I'm not trying to bother you, just trying to clarify everything.
Ah, I know. But I have charm, it seems.
Hold on, I'll tell you:
I don't know if you noticed but I have...
a little problem there. But even that, that pleases people, it touches them.
- No no no, this is impossible. - But it's very pleasant to please.
I love to please.
No, I can do more. I can do more, I can do more.
But it's always ended in made-up stories.
- You'll remember. - But, I pleased less.
Now I please more and more. Oh no, this is hell.
I don't eat anymore, I don't sleep anymore, I'm rejected everywhere...
Today, I'm unemployed.
But you're dramatizing, Sébastien.
Juliette. I beg you to do something.
I want nothing more than to please, I want nothing more than to be loved.
Very well, my dear Sébastien, we're in agreement.
I'll take care of you.
No, no, and no. I don't want any more games. I don't want to see you.
Before it was from time to time, good, it was bearable.
Now it's every day, we see each other every day.
You're cute when you're angry.
But look: your fist is covered in mashed potatoes.
But what must I do for you to leave me alone?
If one day you want me to leave you alone...
you won't need do anything, I'll leave you alone completely.
So then, now. I want you to leave now.
No. Now that's not what you want, that's that.
Anyway, you don't do badly for a naif.
- But I don't get by, I love you. - Yes, I know:
"no one could, can, or will ever be able to love me like you."
That's your whole spiel.
It's a barrier like any other, no more, no less.
What are you eating? And you? Do you know Sébastien?
- I'll show you. - Show me.
- Where is he? - Sébastien?
- I'm here! - Ah, he's here.
- Say hello to Sébastien. - Hello Sébastien.
- Hello, everyone. This is Sophie.
And him, who's this? Is this your boyfriend?
- Oh he has a good head. - Not at all.
- Well don't I have a good head? - Doesn't he have a good head?
- Sure, but he's not my boyfriend. - Mimi, what am I eating?
- He certainly doesn't have such a good head. - Corn, of course.
- Oh yes, corn. - Corn with a lot of butter, it's for Juliette.
Let's order two. Sébastien, would you like one?
Oh, look at the little couple, they're so cute.
- Are they getting married? - What are you doing with him? Where's he from?
I found him at school, I was asked to take care of him for the paper.
He's taking reeducation treatment for the retarded. There, you see.
- Oh, Sophie. - Oh no, don't talk to him, he won't understand at all.
And he drools from time to time, just try to ignore it.
- I'm still hungry. - But are you really still hungry?
You ate almost nothing. Good, I'll finish your potatoes.
But Juliette, what's going on with you?
- Why did you say all that? - Did you want to please?
No. Then let me do it.
Oh, oh I retract what I said.
- You're an angel. - But by the way, Juliette, what are you doing here?
This morning you told me: "tonight." You shouldn't be here.
This is Sophie, isn't that right? Always with the quick reaction.
And well you see that I'm not not there, I'm there.
Look at the guy at the end of the counter.
He's good, eh. His name is Matthieu Brévant.
He's my employer. I almost never see him, he's the big boss.
I'd like to change places with his cup of coffee for two seconds.
- But you're crazy. - This is, this is questionable.
In any case if it's necessary to be like that to please you...
Because you're petty. Even if you wanted, you couldn't.
Mademoiselle Anceny.
I don't know if Mlle. Germain warned you, but I'm accompanying you today.
Bravo for your photo idea.
- But for the first time I prefer to be there. - Oh, but of course.
Do you know my sister? Juliette. Monsieur Brévant.
- Delighted. - Mademoiselle. - My friends.
- Monsieur. - Monsieur. - Sophie, here we are!
- Good day, Gaston. - Hello, Soph'.
So, my love doll, is everything going to your liking?
This is Thomas and Vincent, they're coming with us.
To carry the equipment. It's heavy.
- But that doesn't scare us. - You need to have muscle. Test Gaston.
Gaston, do a test, Gaston.
They're completely stupid but they're very serviceable.
Yes, I see I see, perfect. I remember you from the store, Mademoiselle.
Mademoiselle, Messieurs.
Who's this annoying, outrageous guy?
Oh, you bullies. What things these people say.
- You did well in front of my employer. - Oh, good evening, pretty Madame.
- I present you Sébastien. - Hello Sébastien.
- Hello. - Good day Gaston.
Gaston? But Gaston is you. He calls everyone Gaston.
- While there are so many other pretty names. - Oh, there's a flaw there.
Oh, you noticed, eh.
I'm clumsy but I like it fine. Not you?
Sébastien my friend, you please me.
- Oh you have something sacred in your hands. Teach us! - Are we leaving?
That's just as well, I'm already out of my seat.
I'm coming with you. Mimi will pay tomorrow.
There, it's because of my employer I bet.
- But no, I'm taking Sébastien with me. - Oh help! Where's the equipment?
- But in the store, my dear. - But in the store. Let's see, Gaston!
- Sophie, are you coming? - I'm coming. Well, Martin, good day, eh.
- Goodbye, see you soon. - You don't say.
For someone passionately in love you seem very happy to leave me.
Ah, I thought I knew you well. But I knew you were going to say that.
You'd want me to leave you sobbing? Well, no, my love.
I have work, I'm already late, and we have life in front of us. Good day.
Oh, would you believe my man!
- Hello Madame Germain. - Hello Madame. - Is everyone here?
Good, you can take everything you find.
Collect.
- Take the horn. - I'm taking the horn. - You, take the things over there.
- Yes. - Here it is.
What are you doing there?
- You, take the canned peaches. - Does that do it for you?
Here it is.
And this lady, is someone taking her out? She's nice.
- How's it going? - I think we're not missing anything. No?
Alright. Let's go.
What's left, Madame Germain? Ah, I'll take the fish.
- Well then? - Good, let's get together, there's plenty.
You, take the suitcases over there. You take the artillery.
- There's something over there. - And me?
- You take what's left. - Good.
And that's it.
So what are you waiting for to put everything in the car?
Are you just going to stand out here by yourself?
Well... whatever, damn.
But no, put it all in your car. We don't have any more space.
And follow me.
Juliette! Follow me.
Cling to my lambs.
- Hey Sébastien! - Hey Vincent!
Oh it's tremendous, a woman who drives, someone who can do whatever she wants.
Thomas, hold on.
Say. In the shop they were left with nothing to say.
This is my first hold-up.
- It wasn't a hold-up. - I know that.
I was joking.
Where are we going?
But what are we going here for? This isn't the way.
I know. But I adore the St. Louis island.
I always stop by.
Let's go!
He's handsome in his car. So serious, so haughty.
A knight of the Middle Ages.
Juliette!
Are you bored? The tires? The direction?
Not me. I'm dreaming.
Stop! It's there.
Is he dead? No, he's not dead.
Take out the equipment!
And you!
Band of worms.
Stand or I'll shoot!
Ah. You should all get out.
We'll eat during the recreation.
I'll take the devices. We'll start with the landscape.
- But that's a little embarrassing, give it back to me! - The poppet.
- My ham butter. - To work.
- He wants his ham butter and I want mine, too. - Thomas! The plaid!
And me, I want ham butter too. I have more heartburn.
And I'll see your sister. And I'll scare her.
Leave me alone, Sébastien.
Sébastien.
Warn Sophie and the others not to come when I call for help.
Don't use you head here.
Just do what I tell you.
Go on, go on.
Plaid. Ah, here it is, my little castle.
Sophie.
Sophie, I'm worried.
For Juliette? I can see that, although you don't know her.
Help!
Help.
Oh my god.
- Sophie! - Help!
- Sophie! - Calm down Sébastien.
- Help! - I'm going.
Hold him down.
Help!
Where are you?
Over here.
Guide me.
I'm here.
It was like a nightmare.
I thought no one would come and I'd have to spend the night here.
It was your idea to take a walk in these bushes. It's careless.
I was fascinated. It's beautiful.
I don't understand why my sister didn't hear my calls.
They're busy with their work.
Without you...
oh I'm bleeding.
Why can't I hear anything anymore?
Perhaps someone went there anyway.
Sophie!
We'll go in two minutes. Besides, I need help.
- Oh! - No but who is it?
Oh! Martin! Hey Martin!
Sophie, it's Martin!
It's really not important.
- He's in Paris, Martin. - Hey princess.
You look beautiful in your tower, princess.
Oh, burned! Oh, I'm exasperated.
- How did you find us? - Someone already came here, both of us.
- And your work? - I'm going there.
But I wanted to kiss you so I made up something to do.
I can't stay a minute. I'll come up.
You have a sacred toupee.
You can neglect your work, sure. But mine?
When you get married you won't work anymore.
- You say that deliberately to make me angry. - Yes.
Because when you're very mean, afterwards you're very nice.
Then I have something to look forward to.
Well this is very nice, but I didn't come here to chat.
I'd like to take you far away. Do you even know where?
- In your dreams. - And I'll keep you...
until the end of the world. What a fascinating life.
We'd get up only once a week to change the sheets.
But in itself that's not a bad thing. We'd have a bed to rumble in.
Say what you want about rumbling. I have a client waiting for me.
- I love you. - Martin.
You're completely crazy but sometimes you're cute.
Ah, finally, here she is! Here's Juliette!
How the time flies.
When I think I retransfer you every day and that I'd known that today.
But now, we have more time.
Hey Juliette!
- Hey. Did you take the bottles, Vincent? - Yes, boss.
Hold on, Martin came by. He adores me, it's crazy.
Oh it's difficult to resist someone who loves you so much.
I feel so many emotions. Ah I'm so hungry!
- Hold on. - You might as well take something, Monsieur Brévant.
Yes. Your sister.
You have to write to mom, it's been two weeks since I've written.
- Who wants wine? - Me, it's been a long time.
- You don't drink beer? - But didn't she say she was coming to Paris?
- Next month. - Because your parents live in the province?
- To our health. - Amboise.
- Someone born in Touraine. - That's a Tourangelles.
I was three when someone came to Paris and said: "Paris, to both of us."
Like Antignac. It's a matter of... I saw Tartuffe this morning.
- Sophie... - Rac... heu, Molière I know.
It's to go more quickly.
Besides, you know, I was so quick I failed to flank Tartuffe to the ground.
He's a tenant.
He's a dirty smiler who cannot feel, eh Juliette.
- Not often. - Hypocrite. And then...
not polite at that. This is if he doesn't see us.
He cannot feel, eh Juliette.
He's a shady type.
He always seems like he wants to start a fight.
Hold on, start a fight: why did you say not to come if you called for help?